Reading Ta-nehisi Coates doesn’t make me less racist.
And as much as I try, neither will noticing my own way of thinking.
How can a white person grow up in America and not absorb the nasty status quo, the assumptions, the dreamy lie of church and baseball and We are Better Than Them just Be as Nice as Possible and Don’t Really Talk About It.
People say, have self-awareness. Seeing your own tendencies is the first step. I see my living manifestation of our country’s insane, violent, twisted history like lichen growing all over my legs.
Yes of course I’ll raise my kid well and of course I’ll try to think less insanely.
But I have lichen all over me. I am dirty and malformed. Ashamed of myself, ashamed of my legs, trying to be better, trying to raise one who will inherit the world by no merit of his mind or skill but just through the legacy of his vicious and sick ancestors.
If I could scrape it off, I would use a chisel and free us all.